Ugh, how to tell a depressed dog person I want three cute catgirl girlfriends…

I rubbed a wool sweater against the couch in the middle of winter.

Stop that kid from falling into Harambe’s enclosure by any means necessary.

My friends brought me adult diapers and canes and walkers, but then I ended up having a threesome with 2 of the girls who showed up at the party. Don’t knock 30, man.

You want this. Search for a commercial tv.

It was so good when it came out, totally blew away AskJeeves and YahooAnswers

DOS 6.0 was so much more stable than 5.1

Did your next character take the folk hero background, because he beat up King Rodney and got acquitted?

Having the party run into a group of edgy adventurers is always a fun time.

Also, what does your Ice Cream Van Halen play?

I’m going to need to see your alt.warlords sig before I upvote this.

Hah, it turned out it was 15 year Glenfiddich 25 years ago. So Cheers!

Boatloads. If you can sell them, which you can’t.

Oh god, right there with you on scotch, all whiskeys (and whiskys) in fact. But wine can be hit or miss, even at the high dollars. Years ago I found an amazing cabernet with a full body and heavy chocolate notes for $2.12, and dank it for a year. But I agree that as you get up to $20-100, the likelihood of something terrible is less, and over $90 very rare.

I’ll have a glass of something with Glen in the title in your honor tonight.

If you’re reading this and curious about wine, a couple of things.

1 - Drink what you like. If you want red wine with fish, fine. The people who care, care more about rules than enjoyment.

2 - Drink what you like. I opened a $500 red for my dad’s birthday, it was so-so to my palate. I love $12 NW pinot noirs. Don’t fixate on a price.

3 - When you find something you like, take the bottle to a wine store and ask for a description of the notes of that wine. Ask them to suggest similar wines, and learn to pick out the notes that matter to you. People who don’t know wine talk price, but your sommelier really wants to hear “I’d like something full-bodied, no acid, heavy tannins, smooth finish with some fruit notes.”

4 - Your waiter is rarely a sommelier and just wants a region and type of wine. West Coast pinot noir generally makes a table happy.

I drink between $5 and $500 bottles, and while I will agree there is a distinct difference at the higher end, it doesn’t mean the $500 bottle will be better than a $20 bottle to the person drinking it. I humor the people that care about the price, but distinct notes of so-so music doesn’t spin my wheels.

I always bring a trench coat. Deep pockets, serves as a blanket, folds into a pillow.

…fuck them for science, I hope.

What kind of a bone headed idea is that?

Why would anyone mess with texas at this point?

As a treat.