I really wanted a wife and kids. Once puberty hit, I had one goal, be the best father\husband I could be.
Put myself through college, got a good job, bought a house (specifically close to schools so they could just walk to school)… One problem… I’m clearly not attractive because everyone I dated in my 20s cheated on me. So I gave up. I’ve spent the last 10+ years having to constantly remind myself this. I hate it every day.
Hugh Grant was married to supermodel goddess Elizabeth Hurley and cheated with Divine Brown.
Nobody thinks of Elizabeth Taylor and says, “Man, her husbands must have been so ugly! She divorced them all!”
Cheating has nothing to do with how you look. There are countless examples of people cheating with less-attractive options. As the poster above says, it’s about the type of person you’re currently drawn to/currently drawn to you (speaking from the same experience). If you’re up for a book and can overlook the cheesy-sounding title, check out Attached: The New Science of Adult Dating/Attachment by Amir Levine for some really helpful insights into that stuff. It was so spot-on for me years ago that I read it in a single night, just stayed up and finished it, because it hit so close to home.
I’m not sure you’re thinking of this in the most helpful way. A lot of times we are attracted to the kind of people that make us feel comfortable, and what makes us feel comfortable is what we have experience with. So for example if we have a toxic relationship with our parents, or with a first relationship, often we become attracted to people who embody similar toxicity. So its likely not that you are unattractive, but instead need to rethink why you have been attracted to the people who cheated on you. Maybe they all have attributes in common? Anyway, being cheated on sucks, and I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
I really wanted a wife and kids. Once puberty hit, I had one goal, be the best father\husband I could be.
Put myself through college, got a good job, bought a house (specifically close to schools so they could just walk to school)… One problem… I’m clearly not attractive because everyone I dated in my 20s cheated on me. So I gave up. I’ve spent the last 10+ years having to constantly remind myself this. I hate it every day.
Hugh Grant was married to supermodel goddess Elizabeth Hurley and cheated with Divine Brown.
Nobody thinks of Elizabeth Taylor and says, “Man, her husbands must have been so ugly! She divorced them all!”
Cheating has nothing to do with how you look. There are countless examples of people cheating with less-attractive options. As the poster above says, it’s about the type of person you’re currently drawn to/currently drawn to you (speaking from the same experience). If you’re up for a book and can overlook the cheesy-sounding title, check out Attached: The New Science of Adult Dating/Attachment by Amir Levine for some really helpful insights into that stuff. It was so spot-on for me years ago that I read it in a single night, just stayed up and finished it, because it hit so close to home.
I’m not sure you’re thinking of this in the most helpful way. A lot of times we are attracted to the kind of people that make us feel comfortable, and what makes us feel comfortable is what we have experience with. So for example if we have a toxic relationship with our parents, or with a first relationship, often we become attracted to people who embody similar toxicity. So its likely not that you are unattractive, but instead need to rethink why you have been attracted to the people who cheated on you. Maybe they all have attributes in common? Anyway, being cheated on sucks, and I’m sorry you have to deal with that.