I want to understand it but everything I read about it oscillates impossibly between vulgar metals -> gold and some kind of spiritual transformation metaphysical stuff
What is it and what can be legit gleaned from it in an empirical or useful sense?
Does it have utility outside of use as a metaphor or allegory or whatever?
Technologically anyways. Someone wanting to do alchemy can always give birth (though the resulting baby is always more precious than the amount of gold in their body).