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Isn’t that Vermin Supreme’s actual platform? 🤔
His wiki article does say giving every American a free pony, among other things such as using zombies for renewable energy. Oh, and time travel research. Can’t forget that one.
It’s definitely the sort of campaign promises he would make, though I don’t know he’s said any of these in particular.
Pretty sure that last one was part of the Brexit campaign.
I oppose this candidate on the mandatory naps. Idk what else they stand for but that’s a big turn off for me, as a single-issue voter.
I can’t nap. Naps are literally nightmare fuel for me, in that every time I nap I have horribly realistic and super vivid nightmares.
I’m gunna start the anti-napping coalliance to defeat this absolute whacko. Preserve freedom!!!
(The nightmares bit is true, the rest is in jest)
Even with the unicorn, it’s more realistic than most of what trump says.
AI will find it hard to do a hostile takeover if it’s already president!
Look we already voted for a president Garfield
No lasagna; no deal
Mandatory naps? Am I a fucking child?
If they were optional, your boss would fire you for taking one.
Abolish Monday? So 4 Day work week?
you still have two days of weekend, the weeks just no longer have [redacted] and are 6 days long.
That would bring us from a 71.4% rate of work to a 66.6% rate of work. Not as good as the 57.1% rate of work we’d get by having 4 days on 3 days off, but still, progress.
I love that even in the most fantastical scenario they couldn’t envisage anything less than a 4 day work week.
In this case, the candidate is secretly planning to eliminate workforce protections and send children to work the mines 7 days a week for 15 hours a day.
“As president, I will nationalize the moon and distribute lunar real estate to every American citizen. We are entering a new space age, and it’s time to secure the future of our nation by claiming the moon as a federal asset. Every citizen will receive twenty-eight acres of moon land, complete with rights to mine precious lunar resources like helium-3, which will power the next generation of clean energy. By 2050, I will establish a permanent lunar colony, complete with affordable housing, universal healthcare, and high-speed internet. You can start planning your retirement on the moon today!”
Cyborg Melon Husk for prez 2096!
And his running mate will be Last Remaining Ice Cube.
Now that’s the kind of candidate I can vote for!
He’s got my vote.
I don’t want to nap
Blasphemer!
Just give me naps. I would be so much more productive if I had an hour long nap everyday. I know this because I’ve tried it a few times by accident… And a couple times on purpose.
Also that ChatGPT response gives me vibes of “lmao I’m so random.” That’s honestly most chat bots I’ve used. They read like something a motivational speaker would say when they came to my school.
Well. Aren’t some of these trained on reddit?
